I've realized that one of my biggest issues with writing is that every time I sit down I want to write something profound. I want someone to read what I've written and think, my god, it's brilliant! I can't tell you how many days I sit down to write and walk away and give up because I had nothing profound to say, and today I had a bit of a revelation. In my experiences, people say the most profound things when they aren't trying to be profound. The best quotes are from people who were just describing and accessing everyday life around them. I think very often brilliant writing is an accident.
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Yesterday my mother came to Chico for a visit. I wish everyone in the world could feel that comfort that I feel when I see my mom. Knowing she's in the world making it a better place gives me comfort. For me she is the personification of good, or what I perceive is good.
What is good? For those who are religious I suppose the doctrines of their faith determine what is good and what is not. But for those who do not claim a particular religion as their own, how do they know what is good and what is not? The most common answer would probably be that we as humans can feel what is good. I'm not sure that I'm convinced of that. It can't all be relative. There has to be some... ultimate formula for what is good. For me, my mother is the embodiment of that formula.
So she came to town and we got our nails done, went shopping, cooked dinner together and finally she met my people. My people consist of three guys and about four or five girls. They are my people because I see them as my family here in Chico. We hang out, we laugh, we have cried, we have fought, I've started to yell... all of this because we care about each other. We keep track of each other, share secret memories, save cake for, go on dates with... all things that families do with one another. I didn't expect that it would be a little bit odd for me to have my mother meet my new family. It wasn't odd in a bad way, it's just always surreal to see different parts of your life meet right in front of you.
All things considered, it was fun. The food was great. Everyone was happy to be there. It was good times.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
The Journalist
Here's a sample of my work:
IRONING BOARD GUY MAY HAVE POLITICAL BIAS
Any Chico State student who has walked under the arches of Meriam Library has probably noticed a grey haired, bearded man standing behind an ironing board.
“Register to vote! Take two minutes!” he hollers out to students walking by.
This man who has been given the familiar label of ‘Ironing Board Guy’ by students is known to the world outside Chico State as Michael Hawkins.
The sign hanging from his ironing board reads “Democrats Register to Vote Here.” But how literal is this specification? According to complaints received by Chico State’s Student Activities department, Hawkins is refusing to file the registration forms of students who wish to register with the Republican Party.
When asked about this, Hawkins was not shy about his actions.
“You have a right to a voter registration form, that’s the law, but you don’t have a right to my services,” Hawkins said. “I’m not obliged to do anything.”
But according to the Secretary of State’s office, a person running a registration table must file the registration forms of all applicants.
“They are supposed to take everyone’s forms,” said Edlynn Cerdenas, Office Support System Manager for the Secretary of State’s election branch.
Meredith Turney, legislative liaison and legal council for Capitol Resource Institute, a non-profit lobbyist firm in Sacramento, also confirmed that Hawkins actions were illegal.
“Someone registering voters may not refuse to register members of one party,” said Turney, in an email. “That is against the law.”
When asked about the legality of Hawkin’s actions Rick Rees, Assistant Director of Student Activities said that Chico State’s lawyers have assured them that Hawkins is doing nothing wrong.
“We have been advised by our lawyers that what Michael is doing is legal,” Rees said.
He added that it seems better that Hawkins is being honest about his actions rather than taking everyone’s forms and not filing certain ones.
Although the legality of Hawkins voting registration methods are up for debate, some students find his presence on campus a nuisance and his attitude negative.
Anna Van Vleet, a senior at Chico State, feels that Hawkin’s attitude is one of discrimination.
“That sign, ‘Democrats Register to Vote Here’ is offensive to a lot of people who do not affiliate themselves with the Democratic Party,” Van Vleet said. “It’s obviously about him pushing a political agenda.”
Hawkins says that a portion of his actions stem from the desire to protect himself from untrue accusations of people registering.
“I don’t want to be accused because I don’t like your party and it’s views,” Hawkins said.
When asked about the message this sends to people about the Democratic Party in Butte County, Hawkins said there was no link.
“This doesn’t say anything about the Democratic Party, this is just about me,” Hawkins said.
Despite the controversy surrounding him, Michael Hawkins remains a faithful face on campus.
“He is very dedicated,” Rees said. “I’ve seen a lot of people come and go but he has been here for years.”
Whether Hawkins will be asked to alter his voter registration methods or not remains to be seen, but there is no doubt that “Ironing Board Guy” will be found lingering around Meriam Library for some time to come.
###
IRONING BOARD GUY MAY HAVE POLITICAL BIAS
Any Chico State student who has walked under the arches of Meriam Library has probably noticed a grey haired, bearded man standing behind an ironing board.
“Register to vote! Take two minutes!” he hollers out to students walking by.
This man who has been given the familiar label of ‘Ironing Board Guy’ by students is known to the world outside Chico State as Michael Hawkins.
The sign hanging from his ironing board reads “Democrats Register to Vote Here.” But how literal is this specification? According to complaints received by Chico State’s Student Activities department, Hawkins is refusing to file the registration forms of students who wish to register with the Republican Party.
When asked about this, Hawkins was not shy about his actions.
“You have a right to a voter registration form, that’s the law, but you don’t have a right to my services,” Hawkins said. “I’m not obliged to do anything.”
But according to the Secretary of State’s office, a person running a registration table must file the registration forms of all applicants.
“They are supposed to take everyone’s forms,” said Edlynn Cerdenas, Office Support System Manager for the Secretary of State’s election branch.
Meredith Turney, legislative liaison and legal council for Capitol Resource Institute, a non-profit lobbyist firm in Sacramento, also confirmed that Hawkins actions were illegal.
“Someone registering voters may not refuse to register members of one party,” said Turney, in an email. “That is against the law.”
When asked about the legality of Hawkin’s actions Rick Rees, Assistant Director of Student Activities said that Chico State’s lawyers have assured them that Hawkins is doing nothing wrong.
“We have been advised by our lawyers that what Michael is doing is legal,” Rees said.
He added that it seems better that Hawkins is being honest about his actions rather than taking everyone’s forms and not filing certain ones.
Although the legality of Hawkins voting registration methods are up for debate, some students find his presence on campus a nuisance and his attitude negative.
Anna Van Vleet, a senior at Chico State, feels that Hawkin’s attitude is one of discrimination.
“That sign, ‘Democrats Register to Vote Here’ is offensive to a lot of people who do not affiliate themselves with the Democratic Party,” Van Vleet said. “It’s obviously about him pushing a political agenda.”
Hawkins says that a portion of his actions stem from the desire to protect himself from untrue accusations of people registering.
“I don’t want to be accused because I don’t like your party and it’s views,” Hawkins said.
When asked about the message this sends to people about the Democratic Party in Butte County, Hawkins said there was no link.
“This doesn’t say anything about the Democratic Party, this is just about me,” Hawkins said.
Despite the controversy surrounding him, Michael Hawkins remains a faithful face on campus.
“He is very dedicated,” Rees said. “I’ve seen a lot of people come and go but he has been here for years.”
Whether Hawkins will be asked to alter his voter registration methods or not remains to be seen, but there is no doubt that “Ironing Board Guy” will be found lingering around Meriam Library for some time to come.
###
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Saturdays of Sun and Plays
Last night, after a relaxing day which consisted of walks in the sun, refreshing conversation, an iced green tea, and good books, I went to see "The Vagina Monologues" (to my mother's dismay I have to add). In all honesty there was a small piece of me that was nervous. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't know if could handle the word 'vagina' being said 128 times in two hours or because I knew it would cause me to look within myself and relive some of the past.
To my great delight I was not embarrassed at all and the looking inward wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it might be. Below is one of my favorite monologues of the evening. Beware, it is not for the closed or shallow minded (but neither am I).
MY SHORT SKIRT
It is not an invitation, a provocation, an indication that I want it, or give it, or that I hook. My short skirt is not begging for it it does not want you to rip it off me or pull it down.
My short skirt is not a legal reason for raping me. Although it has been before, it will not hold up in the new court. My short skirt, believe it or not, has nothing to do with you.
My short skirt is about discovering the power of my lower calves, about cool autumn air traveling up my inner thighs, about allowing everything I see or pass or feel to live inside.
My short skirt is not proof that I am stupid or undecided or a malleable little girl. My short skirt is my defiance I will not let you make me afraid. My short skirt is not showing off. This is who I am before you made me cover it or tone it down. Get used to it.
My short skirt is happiness. I can feel myself on the ground. I am here. I am hot. My short skirt is a liberation flag in the women's army.
My short skirt is turquoise water with swimming colored fish, a summer festival in the starry dark, a bird calling, a train arriving in a foreign town. My short skirt is a wild spin, a full breath, a tango dip. My short skirt is initiation, appreciation, excitation.
But mainly my short skirt and everything under it is Mine. Mine. Mine.
--------
I admire the passion, the rebellion, the openness. I can feel her anger, her sorrow, and her freedom. Whether or not we can agree on the appropriate length of skirt, one thing is for certain: a woman's body is her own and no one else's.
End of story.
To my great delight I was not embarrassed at all and the looking inward wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it might be. Below is one of my favorite monologues of the evening. Beware, it is not for the closed or shallow minded (but neither am I).
MY SHORT SKIRT
It is not an invitation, a provocation, an indication that I want it, or give it, or that I hook. My short skirt is not begging for it it does not want you to rip it off me or pull it down.
My short skirt is not a legal reason for raping me. Although it has been before, it will not hold up in the new court. My short skirt, believe it or not, has nothing to do with you.
My short skirt is about discovering the power of my lower calves, about cool autumn air traveling up my inner thighs, about allowing everything I see or pass or feel to live inside.
My short skirt is not proof that I am stupid or undecided or a malleable little girl. My short skirt is my defiance I will not let you make me afraid. My short skirt is not showing off. This is who I am before you made me cover it or tone it down. Get used to it.
My short skirt is happiness. I can feel myself on the ground. I am here. I am hot. My short skirt is a liberation flag in the women's army.
My short skirt is turquoise water with swimming colored fish, a summer festival in the starry dark, a bird calling, a train arriving in a foreign town. My short skirt is a wild spin, a full breath, a tango dip. My short skirt is initiation, appreciation, excitation.
But mainly my short skirt and everything under it is Mine. Mine. Mine.
--------
I admire the passion, the rebellion, the openness. I can feel her anger, her sorrow, and her freedom. Whether or not we can agree on the appropriate length of skirt, one thing is for certain: a woman's body is her own and no one else's.
End of story.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
A story.
This is a story. A story about a young girl that was told she was a good writer. What that meant exactly, she had no idea. No one really taught her how to write besides the basics, grammar and MLA format and so on, but no one ever taught her how to reach down into her soul and give words to her thoughts, her emotions... her heart. It just happened.
And the little girl grew up into a woman and decided to be a journalist because she was told, and so she believed, she was a good writer. She thought it would all come easily. That she would be the next great journalist who had the power to give emotion and depth to the everyday mundane events of life, writing the story in the Sunday paper that would make everyone cry. Oh, how wrong she was.
Last semester she met her worst enemy, AP style. "AP style," you say. "Don't be alarmed. It's merely a format." Oh, how wrong YOU are. AP style in journalism is not just a format, it is a world view that forces a writer to see the world in the coldest, most insensitive forms of light. The writer needs only to know who, what, when, where, and why. Sure, they can tell you that the mother was crying over her son's dead body. They can tell you the father's reaction after he found his 8-day-old daughter's body floating in the bathtub, but the writer dare not mention his/her own feelings of sadness, of horror, of disbelief.
So, what happens to the young girl in the journalist who used to be able to give her soul words? She becomes numb. She begins to see things without life or color or emotion. She doesn't even know what her soul is telling her any more, let alone trying to put it down on paper.
This is her therapy. Many will see it as just a blog but to her it is so much more. It is an attempt to reclaim what was lost... or taken. She knows that the 'good writer' is still there. That she just needs to be still long enough to listen, open enough to understand, and vulnerable enough to feel. Oh, and she needs to burn that AP style book.
And the little girl grew up into a woman and decided to be a journalist because she was told, and so she believed, she was a good writer. She thought it would all come easily. That she would be the next great journalist who had the power to give emotion and depth to the everyday mundane events of life, writing the story in the Sunday paper that would make everyone cry. Oh, how wrong she was.
Last semester she met her worst enemy, AP style. "AP style," you say. "Don't be alarmed. It's merely a format." Oh, how wrong YOU are. AP style in journalism is not just a format, it is a world view that forces a writer to see the world in the coldest, most insensitive forms of light. The writer needs only to know who, what, when, where, and why. Sure, they can tell you that the mother was crying over her son's dead body. They can tell you the father's reaction after he found his 8-day-old daughter's body floating in the bathtub, but the writer dare not mention his/her own feelings of sadness, of horror, of disbelief.
So, what happens to the young girl in the journalist who used to be able to give her soul words? She becomes numb. She begins to see things without life or color or emotion. She doesn't even know what her soul is telling her any more, let alone trying to put it down on paper.
This is her therapy. Many will see it as just a blog but to her it is so much more. It is an attempt to reclaim what was lost... or taken. She knows that the 'good writer' is still there. That she just needs to be still long enough to listen, open enough to understand, and vulnerable enough to feel. Oh, and she needs to burn that AP style book.
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